Lyn Fran nothing that was said is useless... You may may have understood what she said but it is far from useless. The explanation that was given was broken down from stage 1 thru 7 just in a different format.
I want to know how you find this uninformative and useless. I think to use the stones to explain the stages gave me better insight and the fact that she had people illustrate this was a neat thing. It gave me insight on what I need to know to advocate for them.
I think it depends upon your person with Alzheimer's. My husband fit only a one of the descriptions she gave in only amber, red and pearl. Most of it didn't describe him at all. I need more pointers than this gives me.
After 7 years, the last 6 months was hardly mentioned, that is when they stop eating, no matter what I or the carers prepared my wife did not want to eat, the last 3 months she lived on liquids , the doctors in the hospital and the nurses had the same problem, she just wanted to sleep, I would whisper my name in to her ear and she would squeeze my hand, that was how her life ended 6 weeks ago.
John, my father is at that stage now, I agree, not much is ever mentioned about the last 6 months. When a loved one gets to this stage caregivers really need help understanding what is happening. In addition, I have mixed feelings about hospice, yes, it is critical to make the person comfortable and pass in their own setting, yet, I don't understand why the caregiver is left to be the person and try to figure out if the person is comfortable unless you call the number with a ? or concern you are on your own and only communicated with by phone! You are instructed what to do not we will send someone out to help you! Quite a bit to handle at the end when you have taken care of someone for 9 years. While you want to be there in the end it is an emotional roller coaster.
You were there like a good man would be. Thank you for being there for her. Some things just don't make sense, so we have to seek the positive and make it about others and not us. I am an RN in an assisted living and it really sucks to build relationships and then have them taken away. But it is part of this life, and it feels so good to help and even help by just being there. I never found a good mate and will probably die without a kin by me. I do NOT diminish what you went through. You have a good heart mister and you just did one of the best things ever in your life by being there for her. I love you as a human for that.
There are 100 stages to alz, pretty much anything goes at anytime, its a new day every 10 minutes, I agree the last 10 stages are the worst. We are on our 3rd caregiver go-round. 24/7 is extremely difficult.
If you want to know about end-of-life, you may want to check out, "What happens when your LO is dying and what should you do" by Stephanie Z at alzconnected.org
I appreciate what she is trying to do but you can't put a smiley face on Alzheimer's. Her analogies are interesting but it is a devastatingly sad disease. It's emotional torture seeing someone you love disintegrate and there is nothing you can do to stop it but love them as much as you can ask God for strength and patience.
Described my Mums journey perfectly. Perhaps we gained more insight as we kept Mum right to the end. As a precious pearl, she definitely showed herself now and again but only to my sister and I. Love Teepa Snow. Coming up to my turn now so will recommend her to my future ‘carer’.
This is mostly uninformative and useless
ReplyDeleteI disagree, it explains the sense of loss in the different stages but still acknowledges who and what that person is.
DeleteLyn Fran nothing that was said is useless... You may may have understood what she said but it is far from useless. The explanation that was given was broken down from stage 1 thru 7 just in a different format.
DeleteIt's purpose was to show the stages/progression. I found it fulfilled that purpose very well. :)
DeleteHi Lynn, I'd be interested to know why you felt that. Can you help me understand.
DeleteI want to know how you find this uninformative and useless. I think to use the stones to explain the stages gave me better insight and the fact that she had people illustrate this was a neat thing. It gave me insight on what I need to know to advocate for them.
ReplyDeleteI think it depends upon your person with Alzheimer's. My husband fit only a one of the descriptions she gave in only amber, red and pearl. Most of it didn't describe him at all. I need more pointers than this gives me.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteAfter 7 years, the last 6 months was hardly mentioned, that is when they stop eating, no matter what I or the carers prepared my wife did not want to eat, the last 3 months she lived on liquids , the doctors in the hospital and the nurses had the same problem, she just wanted to sleep, I would whisper my name in to her ear and she would squeeze my hand, that was how her life ended 6 weeks ago.
ReplyDeleteJohn, my father is at that stage now, I agree, not much is ever mentioned about the last 6 months. When a loved one gets to this stage caregivers really need help understanding what is happening. In addition, I have mixed feelings about hospice, yes, it is critical to make the person comfortable and pass in their own setting, yet, I don't understand why the caregiver is left to be the person and try to figure out if the person is comfortable unless you call the number with a ? or concern you are on your own and only communicated with by phone! You are instructed what to do not we will send someone out to help you! Quite a bit to handle at the end when you have taken care of someone for 9 years. While you want to be there in the end it is an emotional roller coaster.
DeleteSeeing your loved dementia one as a gem is better than envisioning them as a numerical scoreboard.
DeleteGems for me, make me think of hidden treasure ... and yes! after much (painful, exhausting) digging, what you find inside will surprise you.
But flip this gem analogy ... maybe we as carers, professional or not are the GEMS for them!!
I don't mind thinking that I am part of the (support and carer) treasure box.
You were there like a good man would be. Thank you for being there for her. Some things just don't make sense, so we have to seek the positive and make it about others and not us. I am an RN in an assisted living and it really sucks to build relationships and then have them taken away. But it is part of this life, and it feels so good to help and even help by just being there. I never found a good mate and will probably die without a kin by me. I do NOT diminish what you went through. You have a good heart mister and you just did one of the best things ever in your life by being there for her. I love you as a human for that.
DeleteThere are 100 stages to alz, pretty much anything goes at anytime, its a new day every 10 minutes, I agree the last 10 stages are the worst. We are on our 3rd caregiver go-round. 24/7 is extremely difficult.
ReplyDeletewhat a bunch of self serving blather
ReplyDeletewhy not
ReplyDeleteIf you want to know about end-of-life, you may want to check out, "What happens when your LO is dying and what should you do" by Stephanie Z at alzconnected.org
ReplyDeleteI appreciate what she is trying to do but you can't put a smiley face on Alzheimer's. Her analogies are interesting but it is a devastatingly sad disease. It's emotional torture seeing someone you love disintegrate and there is nothing you can do to stop it but love them as much as you can ask God for strength and patience.
ReplyDeleteDescribed my Mums journey perfectly. Perhaps we gained more insight as we kept Mum right to the end. As a precious pearl, she definitely showed herself now and again but only to my sister and I. Love Teepa Snow. Coming up to my turn now so will recommend her to my future ‘carer’.
ReplyDelete